Write On!

              just be together. You haven't even kissed me yet tonight."
" I'm sorry, Beth," he replied as he again pulled away. " I
can't. I feel so dishonest; it makes what I feel for you almost dirty.
I want more than just hurried kisses on the sly."
" I'll go away with you," I cried. " We can go live in the
city and as soon as I'm eighteen we can get married and be
together forever."
" No", he answered. " What sort of a life would it be? No
family, no friends.... we'd soon come to hate each other. No Beth,
what I feel for you is too good, too pure to dirty it with deceit. I
don't want a relationship built on a lie. If you don't believe in us
enough to tell your parents, then we're finished."
With one last look, he turned and disappeared into the
forest. I knew he really meant what he said. He was so honest, so
open; he wouldn't change his mind. As I stumbled back along the
path to the lake, my tears flowed unchecked and my chest hurt as if
my heart had been broken. All the way home, to the rhythm of the
paddle strokes I repeated over and over again, " He'll come back,
He'll come back" but I knew he wouldn't.... not unless I was
willing to tell my folks.
Back home, I hurried up to my room. Throwing myself
across my bed, I cried until there seemed there were no tears left to
shed. My parents would never understand. I couldn't tell them. I
had to accept that our love was over but it hurt so much. In my
childish hysteria, I thought I'd die.
I didn't, of course. I went on living my life and returned to
school that autumn. Everywhere I went I looked for him, but he
seemed to have disappeared. I heard that he had left town. Other
boys asked me out, but I refused. As the weeks went by, I attended
school, did my chores and spent the rest of the time in my room,
brooding. In the spring when graduation time approached, I
couldn't even become enthusiastic about that. What did it matter? I
didn't have any plans for my future anyway, not anymore.
One spring day, my mother called me to the kitchen. When
I walked in, she pointed to a chair and told me to ' sit'.
" Now," she began, " tell me what in heaven's name is
wrong with you. You've been moping around here all winter like
someone kicked your favorite dog. I left you alone about it, hoping
you'd either get over what ever it is or that you'd come to me, but
you did neither. Graduation is next week and you haven't shown
any interest in it at all. In fact, you don't seem to have any interest
in anything these days. What's wrong with you?"
" It's nothing, mom..." I began.