Viikkosanomat, October 01, 1984

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I drink
erefore
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Iin nö RU H
&
I bet nobody in Finland drinks
84 litres of wine 563 litres of
beer and 28 litres of spirits a
year even though the official
statistics say they do I bet
some people get through that
much in a week
And then again a lot of
people never touch the stuff
Still if the official statistics are
anything like representative of
the average citizen Finns
come pretty low on the interna-tional
guzzle gauge Compare:
in the five years up to 1982
Average Finn knocked back
64 litres of pure alcohol a year
Weil that is more than the
Swedes (57) Nonvegians (42)
and Icelandics (39) More than
in the Soviet Union too (62)
That wraps up the neighbours
— oh except for Denmark
Now they can really shift it —
especially beer They swig
more than tvvice as much of it
as here and their total alcohol
consumption is 93 litres
Immoderate Danes They
are above the international av-erage
as indeed are most coun-trie- s
Strange to say only 17 out
of 37 drank less than the mean
but I digress
My pocket calculator and
statistical yearbook [It's mine
Ed] say that world pure alco-hol
consumption evens out at
about 77 litres a head from
Italy to Israel Norway to New
Zealand Finland to France
Oh those French! Mon Dieu!
146 litres each of pure poison!
Sacre Bleu!
Still life
So The rest of the world is
making merry while the teeto-ta- l
sanctimonious Finns are
sipping a measly 64 litres
That is what we are told And
yet Finland is said to have a
drink problem Finns teli
themselves and anyone who
comes within toasting distance
that they drink too much too
often
Indeed stand outside Hel-sinki
railway statation or get
the last bus home on a Friday
night Watch the airport for re-turni- ng
holiday makers
Somebody's doing some
heavy boozing
Something does not quite
square then does it? Somebo-d- y
did not answer the ques-tionnai- re
properly did they?
Maybe our citizens simply can-n- ot
remember how much they
have had Or they forgot to
mention that little old still out
in the woods
Because if Finns don't drink
that much they certainly be-lie- ve
they do And they too of-ten
act as if they do It takes a
visitor less time than it does to
pop a crown cork to realise that
a whole culture and subculture
rests on the notion that here is
a land where alcohol is death
waiting to lure the unsuspect-in- g
to a grisly fate I think
therefore I am — I drink there-for- e
I am drunk
Mickey Finn
True Finns do not like to enjoy
12
drunk
BY
JOE
WHITE
s£ha
their pleasures constantly jus-tifyi- ng
why they are doing
something they like But alco-hol
is taken to extremes They
have erected for themselves a
system to ensure that there is
always enough booze but that
it is rigidly controlled and
priced not out of reach but at
the thereshold of pain This
system is called Alko It is the
monopoly that controls ali
drink and sells or refuses to
every intoxicant above the
strength of middle beer (which
they also control less direct- -
iy)
One of the most profitable
concerns in Europe Alko
seems dedicated to the promo-tio- n
of liquor while ostensibly
being agin it a stance that re-fle- cts
the divided views — split
vision perhaps? — within the
country
Early this century Finland
was not alone in perceiving a
widespread alcohol problem
and was one of those countries
that banned ali sales and con-sumption
of the demon juice
But fifty years ago the unequal
struggle was abandoned liquor
was legalised and controlled
manufacture distribution and
säle through the state monopo-ly
permitted
It is supposedly to stop
abuses of drink that rules
abound about how to behave
when drinking out It is Alko
that hangover from post-pro-hibiti- on
days that ultimately
gives restaurant and pub door-me- n
their unseemly powers
That allow them to decide by
your dress whether you are a
suitable drinker or not That
prevents you from moving
from one table to another ifthe
waitress says no That hastily
stifles any attempt to sing
laugh too loud or even in rare
cases kiss your girlfriend If a
doorman decides you are
drunk or behaving in an inde-coro- us
manner there is no
power on earth that will make
him change his mind If he re-fuses
you entry move on be-cause
once he says no he will
not let you in
A rum do
In summer some bars put
chairs out on the pavement
How nice But only for beer
Alko says no wine With some
restaurants only the inner ta-bl- es
can even serve that Outer
tables teetotal
Sad to say it ali seems calcu-late- d
to take the pleasure out of
drinking — as if to make you
very aware that you are com-mitti- ng
an immoral act
It does seem that when Finns
see a bottle they have to empty
it They tend to go dry for the
week and let it ali out (or in) at
the weekends and indeed their
normal strictly law abiding
selves seem to get lost in the
process
But I know I am not alone in
wondering whether it is not the
liquor laws themselves and the
double standards supporting
them that contributes largely
to the problem
'iwL'aa mxmmM mmr m~wmmnwwivk
Sign of
the Times
In view of mountmg un-employm- ent
some Amer-lca- ns
try to get by with
spunous college diplomaa
According to the US New
and World Report such
self-style- d doctors are cause
for particular alarm One
such "doctor" Abraham
Asante was to blame for
On September 3 Dmitry Ustinov re-ceiv- ed
General Jaakko Valfanen Com-mander-in-Ch-ief
of Finland' defence
forces They exchanged vievvs on cer-tai- n
aspects of the international situa-tio- n
the state of affairs in the North
of Europe and in particular the estab-lishme- nt
of a nuclear-fre-e zone in tho
region
SSBBSm
I have recently come
across mention of "ethnic
vveapons" and I vvould
appreciate some Informa-tion
about them
V VAKHMENKO
Rostov USSR
The theory underlying the con-ce- pt
of "ethnic" vveapons wa$
vvorked out in the United States
The US armed forces magazine
Military Review vvrote back in
1970 that indigenous populations
in different parts of the globe
have varying genetic makeups
The inhabitants of Southeast Asia
for instance are susceptible to
certain toxins to vvhich Europeans
as a rule easily adapt them-selves
One of the US armed forces
manuals wrote in 1975 that
various ways of utilizing the
newly discovered genetic proper-tie- s
for the selective extermina-tio- n
of particular races had al-rea- dy
come under study
The "ethnic weapons" concspt
atiracted racist South Africa too
In addition to the chemical ver-sion
proposed by the US A if
started developing its own bio-logic- al
model
In June 1978 Liaison Letter a
magazine of the South African
armed forces reported that pre-paratio- ns
were under way for an
"ixodid war" ie the use of in-fecf- ed
forest ticks to cause epi-demi- cs
The racist version of the
"ethnic vveapon" was thought to
be "cheaper and more effective"
because it envisaged the applica-tio- n
of certain toxins or bacteria
that affect a given ethnic group
such as the Blacks while leaving
whites unharmed
Information about the existence
of a research centre in South
Africa for the development of
chemical and biological "ethnic
vveapons" was handed over to a
group of UN representatives in
August It has bsen reported that
the South African racists are test-in- g
this barbarous vveapons on
political prisoners The UN
Committee on Decolonization has
decided to submit the quesfion
lor discussion
a deep coma of a patient at
the Fort Dix hospital In
New York State some 1700
physicians are suspected
After checkt sorne were
sacked and some
Double
Standard
The new demographic
programme the Singapore
government has reportedly
adopted proposes tnat poor
uneducated women under
30 be stenlized after bear-in- g
their first or second
child for a Singapore
$10000 compensation It is
believed this will reduce
the country's poor and
prevent them "bearing
another generation of dis-advanta- ged
children" But
as clever educated parents
have clever children Sin-gapore
Premier Lee Kuan
Yew advises "gifted"
women to bear more
children
— People who look down on
other people are rarely looked
up to
— The best way to prevent a
surprise is to pian ahead
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